Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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