I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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