Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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