imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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