i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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