The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
