So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
