I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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