Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
sex in a hospital.. check
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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