I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize