I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
