Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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