oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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