I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
