I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
false alarm, still single
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
