Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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