Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
