The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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