Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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