The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
