Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
