Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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