You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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