...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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