if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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