Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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