I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
