before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
pray to the hookup gods
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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