I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
