dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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