Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
