So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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