my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
