I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
