this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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