guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
