Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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