Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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