never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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