no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
