thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
