u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
