I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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