She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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