what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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