omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
