Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize