WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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