Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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