i think i have herpe
just one?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
