Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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