this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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