I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is Oprah even human
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
