Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
