I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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