I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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