every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
