Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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