We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
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I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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